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World News Goalkeepers | Notizie ed articoli in lingua straniera dal mondo del Portiere

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Chris Kirkland: ‘I didn’t want to wake up in the morning. It just starts again’

The former Coventry, Liverpool and Wigan goalkeeper talks about dealing with depression, leaving the game and why players should not suffer in silence.

Chris Kirkland felt trapped, paralysed, desperate. But the former England and Liverpool goalkeeper was terrified that he might have further to fall. “What happened to Gary Speed was the thing that really worried me,” Kirkland says, with reference to the Wales midfielder’s death in 2011. “I didn’t know how far away I was from that. Hopefully, a long, long way.

“I always ask myself: ‘Would I have done something to myself? Would I have harmed myself? I like to think I wouldn’t have done. I certainly didn’t sit there one night, thinking, right, I’ve got to … you know. But you think about it. You do, yeah. Because you don’t want to wake up.

“I said to my wife, Leeona, that I couldn’t wait to go to sleep at night and just be clear. But then, I didn’t want to wake up in the morning because it just starts again. I’d never have done it because of Leeona and our daughter, Lucy. But I was worried how close I was to the next step. That’s why I said: ‘I need to stop playing football.’”

It was August last year and Kirkland was mired in a battle against depression – the insidious illness that he says started to creep up on him in 2012, after his departure from Wigan Athletic, a club he loved and did not want to leave. Kirkland had signed a one-year contract at Bury in June 2016 but he came to feel overwhelmed. He simply could not continue.

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di Redazione

( Fonte The Guardian )

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